Day 331/365

Prompt: elbow and Santa Clause


His favorite holiday films are The Santa Clause
and Jack Frost.
(Just to clarify, the Michael Keaton,
not the horror...)
I prefer Nightmare Before Christmas
and Better Off Dead,
which isn't really a Christmas movie,
but that's what I like about it.
His Christmas tree is full of of glitzy red balls
and thousands of twinkle lights
and topped with a huge, heavenly angel
with candles in each hand
and wings hovering over its haloed head.
My tree prefers popcorn on black string,
threaded with cranberries,
and snowflakes cut from copy paper
with a pair of scissors.
Dinner at his place is turkey,
stuffed with mozzarella flavored filling,
hand-mashed garlic potatoes,
the green-bean casserole with dried onions
and mushroom soup,
candied yams (not sweet potatoes)
garnished with mini marshmellows
and homemade pumpkin pie.
Mine? A big Stouffers lasagna,
some extra sauce,
garlic bread, maybe salad,
and pints of ice cream,
eaten straight out of the container.
His erogenous zone is the crook of his elbow.
Mine is the crack of my ass.
His gift to me was the latest Dan Brown novel.
I left his ass stupefied before he could open my gift,
which I left with,
which he wouldn't have known what to do with anyway,
except regift to someone who had a brain larger than that of a church mouse.


ewr